Some of my favorite pieces from…

The New Yorker

All My Dentist’s Feedback So Far

How People with Dietary Restrictions See Menus

Daily Itinerary for the Person I Am Not

How to Be a Mysterious Woman Who Is Also in Bed by 9:30 P.M.

Los Angeles Times

Op-comic: A personal case against eliminating the penny

McSweeney’s

I’m A Middle School Boy, And I Refuse To Wear Anything But Basketball Shorts In The Winter

The Woman From Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’” Would Like to Clear a Few Things Up

Weekly Humorist 

I Got Tired of Having a Personality, So Instead I’m Wearing This Bucket Hat

Items in My House Ranked by How Quickly They Slid Down the Guggenheim Ramp

We at the Bob Committee Are Here to Diversify Your Company

Slackjaw 

I Freaky-Fridayed With My Mom And I’m Not Switching Back

Meet Greg Clarke, The Artist Behind This Iconic Movie Ratings Poster

How To Be Adorable When Someone Is Genuinely Hurting Your Feelings

Meditations That Will Make You Go From Hating Everyone To Just Most Everyone

Questions From “Were You Listening?” A Game Show Designed Specifically For My Dad

History’s Greatest Inventors Post On LinkedIn

We, As A Collective Audience, Have Decided Against Saying “Good Morning” A Second Time

Ten Things My Health Insurance Company Expects Cause I’m Turning 30

Clean Truth Or Dare Prompts For Christian Teens

I Joined The Cult From Midsommar And It’s Not Going That Well

The Belladonna Comedy

The Rainbow Fish Turns 32 and Decides It’s Time to Make Healthier Friends

Famous American Quotes Rephrased by Middle Management

I’m a Modern Day Orpheus: I Attempted to Rescue a Deleted Photo Out of My iPhone Trash

Parenting Tips From This Excellent Book I Have Read Three Pages of, Flowers in the Attic

How to Break up With the Man Half of a Centaur

As a Therapist in Haddonfield, I’m Frustrated I Don’t Have More Clients

Disney Villain Sidekicks Share Their Health Insurance Complaints

Karaoke For Cowards: 10 Go-To Songs Where You Don’t Actually Have to Sing